And Now We Have Two Kids
by ILoVeWicked
Summary: Warner Huntington struggles to make it through his day of bonding with his two daughters while his wife is out. Three-shot. Rating to be VERY safe. Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**And Now We Have Two Kids**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Legally Blonde the Musical.**

**Hello! So my friend and I were baby-sitting her little sister and a family friend's kid the other day, and my friend's adorable sister, who is two years old, was being impossible with just about everything, so I thought...hmm...what a good idea for a Legally Blonde fic! I definitely like how it turned out more than my most recent one-shot about Bruiser did, probably because I could relate to it better. I know, this probably could have fit just as well as an Emmett centered story, but I thought Warner suit the part of clueless dad better. And plus...even though I adore Emmett just as much as any other LB fan, he's already awkward enough and gets to be a main character in every LB fic. I'm trying to keep the mother of the kids a secret until the third chapter, but with the clues I give you and the pairings I tend to use/like, it shouldn't be too hard to figure out ;) The kids' names also have meanings, which I will reveal in the final chapter as well. So, I hope you enjoy the first part of And Now We Have Two Kids (from Find My Way...again with my corny title references...) and let me know what you think of it so far! Review, review, review!**

**-ILoVeWicked**

"Daddy! Daddy, wake up!"

The mattress shifted under him as his daughter, Amber, whined, pleaded, and shook her father to wake him up. Warner groaned and groggily turned to face the blue-eyed, brown haired beauty and allowed his eyes to slowly flutter open. The room was filled with brightness, sunlight pouring from the windows. It was a beautiful spring day outside. After wiping the sleep from his eyes, he smiled back at his daughter's toothy grin.

"Hey, Buddy," he said groggily as he reached out and ruffled Amber's hair. The little five-year-old giggled and flopped down beside her father. "Where's Mom?"

He took a moment to soak in his daughter's angelic face. She was a perfectly blended mix of her mother and father. She had the physical features of Warner, her freckles, her hair, and her smile, everything but his eyes. Amber had a pair of eyes just like her mothers. A dazzling, blue, set of jewels for eyes made Amber even more beautiful. On the other hand, she had her mother's compassion, energy, and positive attitude, to name a few of the features that made her Daddy's Little Princess.

"She said she needed to go out and get some gro'ceries and other stuff," Amber explained, her freckly face scrunching up as she struggled to say the word 'groceries'. Warner chuckled. "She told me to wake you up, and she said that it's our special day!"

Warner suppressed another groan. Special day was Amber's mother's way of saying: "Spend time with the kids". It wasn't that he didn't love Amber and Violet, because he truly loved them. He just didn't know what to do with them. He never had great experience with girls, and he was lucky to have been married for eight years to a woman who did have experience with girls. Amber began tugging at his arm. For a kindergartener, she sure had her mother's strength.

"Come _on_, Daddy! This is our special day! I gots so much for us to do, and all your doing is being a lazy-butt!"

"Five more minutes," Warner mumbled, acting like Amber did in the morning when he woke her up to go to school, putting a blanket over his head and turning away. Amber didn't sense the mockery, but instead, she pushed him so hard he almost flew out of the bed. Warner, now winded, was about to reprimand Amber for almost killing Daddy on their special day when two-year-old Violet's cries echoed down the hall from her bedroom.

Warner rolled his eyes and heaved himself up from the bed and into his baby's room, Amber following him like a puppy, listing everything that they were going to do that day. He had successfully managed to channel the blabbering of Amber out and lift Violet, red-faced and teary, from her crib and balance her on his hip.

"Hey, Munchkin, why are we crying?" Warner asked as he wiped a tear from under one of Violet's brown eyes.

Take Amber, switch the genetics around, and that formed Violet. She had the looks of her mother, blonde and adorable, a pair of brown eyes that resembled Warner's, and she had the emotions and personality of Warner. Though Amber had taken the role of Daddy's Little Princess (and made that very clear after Violet was born), Warner had a feeling that Amber would upgrade to Daddy's Little Queen and Violet would gladly take over for her big sister as Princess.

Violet sniffled and babbled out something that Warner couldn't understand. He crinkled his nose and raised the toddler to be eye level with him.

"Huh?" he asked.

"She's hungry!" Amber clarified for him, now tugging at his free arm. "C'mon! Let's go make breakfast." Warner smiled.

"Okay, Princess, what do you two want?" he asked.

"Lobster bisque!" Amber cried happily.

Violet raised a tiny hand and gurgled out, "Me too!" Warner sighed as he placed Violet in her high chair and grabbed her bib from the counter.

"Do either of you know what that is?" he asked. Amber made it seem as though she were giving the question serious thought, and then she shook her head, her brown pigtails flailing about. At the sight of her sister making the gesture, Violet copied.

Violet was always doing what Amber was doing. Warner was pretty sure that if Amber decided to jump off of a cliff, Violet would hurl herself off that same cliff immediately without giving it a second thought. It only showed just how much the little girl looked up to her big sister and loved her, though Amber claimed the 'monkey see, monkey do' bit was just an attempt to bug her.

"Then, how does waffles sound?" Warner asked, masking the tiredness in his voice with enthusiasm. Amber clapped her hands together.

"Yummy! Let's do that!" Warner turned to face Violet.

"Vi?" he asked. Violet pouted and shook her head.

"Yucky!" Violet spat, making a face. Warner sighed and turned back to Amber, who was now standing on her tippy-toes, extending her arm as far out as she could and trying to reach the box of waffles to no prevail.

"What does she typically eat for breakfast, Amber?" he asked the little girl, who shrugged innocently and continued on her quest for Eggos.

"I dunno," Amber replied, paying no attention to her father as the cardboard box almost whacked her in the head. "Mommy does that stuff. You're the Daddy, you should know what to do too."

It was true, he _should _have known what to do. But he didn't, and not only did he feel embarrassed about it, he felt helpless. His emotions only grew stronger when Violet began bawling.

Warner began to panic, he whirled back around to face Amber, who was now struggling to work the toaster.

"Sweetie, you mean to tell me that in your sister's two years of existence, you have never once seen your mother feed her?" Amber shook her head, making Warner grow even more frustrated.

"Um…nopey dopey!" she chirped happily as she finally got the toaster to work. Warner ran a hand down his face and pivoted back around to his screaming daughter.

"Crap…um…Violet, Honey, can you tell Daddy what you want?" Warner asked pathetically, actually getting down on his knees and begging for her to stop crying. All Violet did in response was scream louder. Warner sighed; kids could be so uncooperative.

Warner began desperately searching the kitchen for something edible for Violet to eat until his eyes rested upon a cookie. What was it that his wife told him? No sugar before noon? Sugar made Violet too hyper? He didn't care about the regulations anymore, he needed to stop his daughter from bawling and his head from splitting. He grabbed the cookie and slammed it down in front of Violet, who in return smiled and gobbled it down. Warner breathed a sigh of relief and clapped his hands together.

"Okay, you two, who's up for a little nap?" Both girls looked at their father skeptically, making Warner bite his lip. He wasn't going to get rid of them that easily. Amber scooted off of her chair and danced over to her father's side.

"I was thinking we play a game instead," she told him. "Like tea party!" Violet squealed in agreement, and Warner resisted the urge to hit himself in the head with a frying pan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own LBtM.**

"So, do I just…um…fake that I'm sipping the tea?" Warner asked as he continuously repositioned himself on a chair that was clearly too small for him. Everything in his daughter's pink splashed room was too tiny for him, including the table and miniscule tea cup. Amber nodded perkily.

"Yeah, but first, you have to dress up!" Warner's eyes grew wide with horror. It was like he was reliving when he was a baby and his girl cousins used to seek enjoyment in dressing him up in drag.

"Dress up?" he croaked.

"Yeah, Daddy!" Violet cheered. "Dwess up!"

Before he could even protest, Amber attacked him with a crown, a set of feathery, sparkly fairy wings, and a tube of his wife's lipstick. Now fully decked out as a princess in raspberry lipstick, Warner's pain grew even more when Amber added some of her cheap blush and eyeliner to the mix. Now he knew how it felt like to be that guy in RENT.

Amber, who was now in a Sleeping Beauty costume she had worn for Halloween, cheered and placed a mirror in front of his face, Warner gasped at how horrible of a woman he made. "You look gorgeous, Daddy! Now we can have tea!"

Violet, who was in a matching Sleeping Beauty costume, cheered as well and ran over to the table. Warner smiled at how they both fit perfectly in the table, his two little girls.

"Daddy! You don't hold your tea cup like _that_!" Amber corrected him. Violet bobbed her head.

"Pinky's up!" her tinny voice commanded. Warner obeyed. Who knew tea parties had so many rules? Amber eyed how clueless her father was, and an idea popped into her head. She smiled wickedly and whispered her plans in her sister's ear. Violet gasped innocently and looked at Amber with wide eyes.

"Trust me, Vi, it'll work! Daddy has no idea what he's doing!" Violet took a look at her father, who was still attempting to keep himself balanced on the chair, and finally nodded.

"Hey, Daddy?" Amber asked as sweetly as possible. "Do you know what would be _really _fun?" Warner looked up, his eyebrows raised.

"What?"

"If we used _real _tea! Then it would be a 'ficial tea party!"

"Yay!" Violet added in.

Warner's eyes exchanged from one girl to the other, and he finally allowed himself to ask, "Does your mother let you do that?" Amber nodded quickly, Violet mimicking the gesture.

"Well, _duh!_" she cried. "Mommy always lets us have real tea at our tea parties!"

"Do you two even know what tea tastes like?"

"Daddy, you ask too many questions," was all Amber replied with.

Reluctantly, Warner removed his rear end from the tiny, pink chair he had just been sitting on and he made the girls a pot of tea, which he carried upstairs without oven mitts and cursed over in front of his kids. He prayed that Violet, who saught enjoyment through chanting the word, wouldn't repeat it once their mother got home.

"Okay, Ladies, here's your tea. Drink up," Warner told them as he poured the steaming liquid into the tiny plastic cups. Violet and Amber just stared into their cups in disbelief.

"It's _brown_," Amber remarked, sniffing the tea and holding back vomit. She could have sworn tea was the same color as Kool-Ade.

"Yeah, it's brown. You look surprised, I thought you had tea all the time," Warner said, beginning to get the feeling that he had been conned by two kids. Amber, just to keep the act going, elbowed her sister in the side to get her attention and lifted the cup of brown liquid to her mouth. Violet, being the copy-cat that she was, did the same.

Once the disgusting, non-sugary tea hit her taste buds, Amber shrieked and spit the entire contents of her mouth in Warner's direction, sending a spray of hot tea all over Warner's face. Violet, seeing what her sister had just done, did the same and hit Warner with a second tea-shower.

Once Warner was able to open his eyes again, he gasped in horror at the huge brown stains on Amber's carpets. He glared at the two girls, and at the knowing that they had been framed, both of them held up her hands.

"Okay, so we've never actually _tried _tea before…but now that I have, it sucks!"

"Tastes like sh…" Violet began, ready to use the word her father had used when he had burnt himself with the teapot. Warner, taking evasive action, luched across the tiny table and clamped a hand over the toddler's mouth.

"It _stinks_, I get it," Warner sighed as he looked back down at the impossible stain.

"Well, this party's getting lame," Amber, the obvious ring-leader of these events, announced. "Let's watch a movie!"

"Movie!" Violet cheered. "Let's watch it!"

The two bounded down the hall and down the stairs to the living room, while Warner desperately tried cleaning the stain up with no luck. He glanced at the clock and almost choked. It was only noon, and he had successfully managed to get one of his daughters sugar high on something she wasn't supposed to have, got manipulated into wearing fairy wings and getting the two girls tea, staining Amber's very expensive carpets, and exposing his daughters to cursing.

"Today's going to be a _long _day," Warner muttered as he continued scrubbing at the stain and heard Violet knock something over downstairs.

**Hello all! Yeah, my night of baby-sitting's events included the tea party...and I was the one with the fairy wings and cheap make-up on...only the kids weren't coniving enough to fool us into getting real tea. We played the good, old-fashioned, pretend way! Thanks so much to GreekChorus and IfIDeGreenifyYou for reviewing the first chapter. My day hasn't been so super (stupid math quiz) and your reviews really cheered me up! Hopefully, I'll get the last chapter posted tomorrow or in a few days. If I don't, then happy Thanksgiving! Please review and let me know what you think, reviews make for a happy writer and a faster update!**

**-ILoVeWicked**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Violet and Amber. And I don't own the movie _300 _or _Bambi _either. Don't ask...just read :)**

"Well, congratulations, you have to explain to Mommy why there's a gigantic tea stain on your very expensive carpets, Young Lady," Warner declared to Amber, clear frustration in his voice. Amber ignored him and tuned on the OnDemand on Warner's treasured flat screen TV.

"What do you want to watch?" Amber asked aloud.

"Something Disney related?" Warner guessed.

"Mermaid!" Violet suggested. Amber stuck her tongue out.

"Ew, we've watched that, like, a million times!" She kept switching thorough the new movies until she found one upon her liking.

"Ooh! _300_! Sounds cool!" She turned to her father, her blue eyes shimmering. "You know, I can count to three hundred. Wanna hear it?" Warner held up his hand.

"I'd rather you didn't." But it was too late. Amber had already counted to twenty and was clearly not stopping. She got bored after fifty-four and looked at her father, expectance sprinkled on her face, just like her freckles.

"Can we watch _300_, Daddy?" she asked. Warner had not heard of the movie, and he was too busy trying to locate the Windex to care.

"Sure, whatever, I don't care. As long as the two of you are quiet."

Violet took a moment to take her thumb out of her mouth and give her dad a thumbs-up. "Fank you, Daddy! I wuv you!" Warner couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Love you too, Cutie," he said with a wink before heading back upstairs to tackle the stain.

He had almost managed to make the blotch of tea slightly more transparent when he heard two screams coming from below him. Warner, his fatherly instincts kicking in, jumped up and ran faster than he ever had to see if the girls were okay.

"What's wrong?" he asked, still gasping for air. Amber and Violet were clutching onto each other, their faces pale and their eyes wide.

"What's wrong?" Amber finally asked, her voice quivering and rising in pitch. "What's wrong!? That guy just chopped another guy's head off!"

"Scary!" Violet chimed in, her voice indicating that a cry was coming his way. Warner shook his head in disbelief, now remembering that _300_ was rated R for gory content and kids, let alone adults, had nightmares after watching it. Warner cursed under his breath and was about to shut the TV off when he heard the front door swing open. Amber and Violet screamed again.

"Omigod, is it the guy with the sword?" Amber asked in hysterics. With the way his luck had been going, Warner half expected a Spartan soldier to emerge in the doorway and chop his own head off. Instead, his wife appeared, many bags of different colors and sizes in her hands.

"Oh, thank goodness you're home, Brooke!" Warner breathed out. At the sight of their mother, both girls leapt from the couch and darted toward Brooke, each taking one of her legs and gripping onto it.

"Mommy!" they both cried in unison, the TV still blaring with Greek fights. "You're back! We were just watching the scariest movie! It's not about counting, let me tell you!" Amber explained to her, gripping onto Brooke's leg as tight as she could. Brooke quickly got rid of the bags in her arms and scooped up both daughters to take the bags' place. Warner couldn't see how she could do that without hurting herself, but she was super-woman, she could do anything.

"Oh, really?" Brooke asked Amber, a hint of laughter detected in her voice. "And which movie was that?"

"Twee hundwed!" Violet told her. Brooke stroked the little girl's blonde locks to soothe her and shot a disapproving glance towards Warner, who grew red.

"Mom, is someone gonna chop _our _heads off?" Amber asked, her voice rising in fear. Brooke laughed, placed the girls back on the floor, and got down on her knees to be eye level with the two terrified children.

"Of course not. And if they ever tried to get you, I wouldn't let that happen. If any monster comes to get you, it would only be the _tickle monster_!"

Brooke began attacking the girls with tickles, making the two of them break into fits of high pitched giggles. The sound of his babies' laughter made Warner laugh himself.

"Now go watch a better movie to get your mind off of that nasty _300_, like Bambi or something. I don't want you girlies having bad dreams tonight." Brooke kissed each girl on the forehead and set up the movie for them. Once her daughters were settled and convinced that there were no swords in Bambi, Brooke came striding up to Warner with a smirk on her face.

"Well, don't you look beautiful," Brooke teased as she noted her husband's make-up. Warner rolled his eyes.

"They attacked me, and I didn't get a say in whether I wanted it on or not," Warner defended himself. Brooke laughed.

"So…_300_…really? Are you that clueless?" Brooke finally got around to asking. Warner shrugged.

"I didn't know what it was rated."

"So you check the rating, oh brilliant one."

"Look, I made a mistake…actually a _few _mistakes."

"Care to elaborate on that?" Brooke asked, her eyebrows raising.

"Well, for starters, I was woken up from a very peaceful slumber—on a _Sunday _and after a very long day at work yesterday, I may add—by Amber. She almost killed me trying to push me out of the bed!"

Brooke snorted, and Warner glowered at her. He was the man of the house, meaning the man did not get made fun of unless the man said so. Brooke held up her hands and chuckled, "Continue."

"And then I tried to make them breakfast, but Violet's too picky to just eat waffles. She started freaking out at me, and I had no clue what to feed her. I asked Amber what you gave her in the morning, and surprise! She had no idea."

"So what did you do?"

"I…um…I fed her a cookie," Warner muttered, averting his eyes to the floor. Brooke gasped playfully.

"Mistake number one: feeding that kid sugar before lunchtime. She must have been bouncing off the walls all morning." Warner nodded.

"And then we had a tea party!" Warner cried sarcastically in mock excitement. Brooke giggled.

"I'm guessing that explains the…um…new look," Brooke said mockingly, trying her hardest to keep from cracking up and getting her husband mad.

"Yes…I don't put on your lipstick and dress in fairy wings for enjoyment. So we were enjoying our invisible tea, and then Amber came up with the brilliant idea into tricking her clueless father into making her and her sister some _real_ tea!"

Brooke crinkled her nose. "My God, they must have hated it. I can't even swallow that stuff without wanting to throw it back up."

"Well, I wasn't aware that they had never tried it before and that they were just tricking me, so I carried the very hot teapot upstairs with my bare hands…"

Brooke could see the frustration on her husband's face as the story progressed. It was clear that he had been through a little too much.

"And I…may have accidentally cursed and Violet heard it and is repeating it a lot," Warner continued quickly, praying that he had spoken fast enough for Brooke to not understand it. His luck ran short as Brooke really gasped and slapped him hard on the forearm. Warner winced. He had gotten enough from Amber today, he didn't need more violence from Amber's stronger, more intimidating mother.

"Warner!"

"Hey! At least I told you! There are plenty of guys that accidentally curse in front of their daughters and don't tell their wives about it while the kid stalks around bad mouthing people on the street and the mom doesn't know why!"

"Name one!"

"Emmett! Elle has still no idea about that time he burnt himself making Laura's bottle, by the way!" Brooke rolled his eyes. Warner did have a point. Laura, Elle and Emmett's five-year-old daughter, knew just about every curse there was to know due to Emmett's clumsy mistakes and wording.

"Just continue with your series of unfortunate events," Brooke demanded as she ran a hand through her blonde hair.

"So after the tea saga, I was pretty pissed at them, so I told them to pick out a movie. Who knew they would just so happen to pick the worst and most unheard of movie to me? Now, because of me, they're going to have nightmares and be emotionally scarred for the rest of their lives."

"It's been a pretty rough morning," Warner admitted. "I'm just not as good at this as you are." Brooke shook her head, took a step forward, and placed her hand on his cheek.

"But you tried, and that's what matters most to me. I'm not angry at you at all, Honey. I find the whole thing actually to be pretty amusing. You're not a bad father at all, you're just a little rusty; to them, you're probably the fun parent now."

"Really?" Warner asked, a bit of pride bubbling up inside of him. Brooke nodded.

"Oh yeah, I never let Violet have a cookie, or let them have actual tea for their tea parties, or let them watch R rated movies. To them, you're probably cooler than Dora the Explorer, and believe me, Dora's tough to beat."

Warner smiled. He loved the way his wife could make even the most miserable people allow their troubles to disappear. Brooke had that special quality about her. It, along with many other qualities he loved about her, had been what made him fall in love with her before, and it was what made him fall in love with her every day. For eight years to that date, Brooke Huntington had made him the happiest man alive. He woke up every morning for those eight years, thanking God for making him the luckiest man alive to have such a beautiful, humorous, down-to-earth, and caring woman as a wife and the mother to his children.

"I love you," Warner blurted out, in the heat of the moment. Now it was Brooke's turn to blush.

"I love you too." Warner could tell she had another joke in store by the way she was biting her lip to keep from laughing. Finally, Brooke couldn't hold it in any longer.

"You've got something on your lips," she managed to say through her laughter. Warner rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Hey! I happen to think raspberry is a nice shade on me!" Brooke only laughed harder.

"Here, let me get that for you," she told him, making it look like her hand was reaching for his lips. Instead, she pressed his lips against his and wrapped her arms around his neck. Warner smiled into the gesture and kissed back. He was grateful that Amber and Violet were so engrossed in their movie that neither tore their eyes away from to ruin the moment by screaming "Eww!" or "Cooties!"

Once he parted from their kiss, Warner gave his wife a good hard stare.

"So, are the doctors _sure _that this one's going to be a boy?" Warner asked, doing his best to mask the persistence in his voice as he gestured toward Brooke's buldging stomach. Brooke rolled her eyes and groaned at the mentioning of the same question he had been pestering her with since they had found out the sex of their soon-to-arrive third child.

"Yeah they're sure, Manhead. Can't you handle a little girly fun once in a while?" Brooke teased, fiddling with the collar of his shirt. Warner wanted to answer with something sentimental, but he shook his head instead.

"A guy can only handle so much," he told her, laughing himself. He took a moment to look at his two beautiful kids, both smiling as they watched the Disney movie, and he found himself smiling too.

"But I love them both more than anything, and as much stress as they caused me, I kind of liked spending the day with them." Brooke grinned widely.

"I'll have to let you do that more often, then," she told him with a wink. Before she could turn away, Warner grabbed her shoulder.

"Can you do me a favor, though?" he asked, pure plead leaking from his voice. Brooke nodded. "Next time you decide to take it upon yourself to assign a special day, can you at least warn me?"

Brooke didn't respond with a solid answer. All she did was lean over, place a kiss on Warner's cheek, and whisper, "The girls can't have you all to themselves. Don't forget that it's _our _special day, too. Happy Anniversary, Warner."

"You too," he told her as she gathered her bags and headed upstairs. He noticed her destination, Amber's room, and remembered the stain. If Brooke saw that stain, their anniversary dinner wouldn't be as lovely as he had anticipated it to be. Brooke would be too angry at him to be in a romantic mood, and being miserable was not the way he wanted to spend his eighth anniversary.

"No!" he shouted. Brooke whirled around to face him, curiosity on her face.

"What did you do?" she asked, as if she could read his mind. Warner shrugged, approached his wife, and led her to the kitchen table, he took the bags from her hands and smiled.

"You've been doing the heavy lifting for five months with our son already; let _me _take these upstairs for you! You just go and drop the kids off at Elle's for tonight. I'm sure they'll be glad to play with Laura again. I'll take care of everything else." He turned on his heels and swiftly began making his way out of the room.

Brooke, still utterly confused over whether or not this sudden pampering was just to keep her from finding out about something Warner was hiding from her, began to say, "But…?" Warner held his hand up to cut her off.

"I love you! Happy Anniversary!"

**Fortunately, my teachers decided not to give any homework over the break which allowed me to update the final chapter. So there you have it. I figured I'd make up for the Brooke/Warner/kids relationship that never happened in Don't Put All of Your Eggs in One Basket by making them the parents in the story. Hope you were all pleasantly surprised. Since I wanted to give one kid a meaning that was related to Brooke and the other with Warner, I went with naming Amber after Amber Von Tussle in Hairspray because Richard Blake played Link in that show and naming Violet after Nikki Snelson's role of Violet in How to Save the World and Find True Love. Thanks for reading and thanks to luannlockhart for your review! Review and let me know what you thought of everything...or if you just want to talk about your new bedspread, the sad event that is 75% of Broadway closing, or even your rock collection, review anyway! I'm open to anything you guys have to say (except for flames...they give me mental booboos)!!! Thanks for everything, Happy Thanksgiving, and till next time!**

**-ILoVeWicked**


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